


Unsmooth Criminal

by mitslits



Series: Prompts [48]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Cat!Harry, M/M, burglar!eggsy, cat!eggsy, sort of shapeshifter au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2016-12-22
Packaged: 2018-09-11 06:00:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8957830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mitslits/pseuds/mitslits
Summary: Hartwin prompt. CatEggsy meets catHarry.





	

**Author's Note:**

> You've been hit by 
> 
> You've been struck by 
> 
> A smooth criminal

Eggsy pulls himself up onto the windowsill by the very tips of his fingers, pressing himself as close to the sill as he can. He wraps his tail around his ankle to keep it still, not wanting to attract any attention with unwarranted movements. His ears twitch, straining to hear inside the house. 

 

It’s as quiet as the sleeping street, and Eggsy can’t help but grin in satisfaction. He’s been scoping this place out for  _ months _ waiting for the perfect opportunity, and now it’s fallen into his lap. The lone occupant is elderly and often away. Eggsy hasn’t seen him for the past two days. Sometimes the man’s trips can stretch to a week, but Eggsy doesn’t want to take the chance of this just being a weekend jaunt. Better to strike now. 

 

Eggsy chews on his bottom lip in concentration as he works at the window, lifting it inch by inch, pausing every so often to listen for anything out of the ordinary. All remains quiet and he’s slipping inside the house within minutes. He lands softly on the floor underneath the window, tail flicking out to help him keep his balance. His ears flick up, but there’s still no sign that he’s been found out. 

 

Cautiously, Eggsy checks out the room he’s in. It’s small and meticulously kept. Newspapers line the wall, all of them with ridiculous titles. A mahogany desk dominates the room, laptop whirring away on top of it. 

 

That gives Eggsy pause. People don’t often leave their computers behind on longer journeys. He’ll have to be careful. 

 

Besides that, there doesn’t seem to be much to the room. Nothing valuable enough to be of interest to him, anyways. 

 

Eggsy makes his way across to the door on the opposite end, feet soundless. He stops in front of the door, hand curled around the knob, angling his ears towards the wood. Still nothing. 

 

Eggsy swings the door open slowly, poking his head out before exiting all the way. A sound at the end of the hallway stops him in his tracks. He plasters himself against the wall, stilling himself and waiting. 

 

A cat with dusky brown fur comes padding out of the shadows, blinking at him curiously. 

 

Instantly, Eggsy relaxes. He’s good with cats. “Hello there,” he whispers, stretching out his hand towards it. 

 

The cat just regards him with a cool indifference, seating itself in the middle of the hall and wrapping its tail around its paws. 

 

Shrugging, Eggsy resumes his search. He creeps through the hallway until he reaches the next door, opening it just as carefully as the first. 

 

The room proves equally useless but infinitely more interesting. It’s a bathroom, which in and of itself is not unusual, but the way it’s decorated is bizarre. There are frames and frames of mounted butterflies littered about the walls and above the toilet there’s a dog. 

 

Eggsy hisses involuntarily, shrinking back before he realizes it’s not moving. Eyes narrowed, he leans forward to inspect it, discovering it’s stuffed. “What the fuck,” he mutters under his breath, tail twitching uneasily. 

 

_ Is the old man secretly some sort of serial killer? This seems like some serial killer shit. _

 

Eggsy backs out of the bathroom, not wanting to stay in there for a second longer than he has to. He shakes off the unease clinging to him like cobwebs and makes for the third room in the hall. 

 

This is more like what he’s looking for. People always keep their most valuable things close to them and nothing is closer than where they sleep. Of course, this bedroom barely looks lived in, but since the old man isn’t usually around, that doesn’t surprise Eggsy much. 

 

He hunts around, opening one drawer after the other, sifting through clothes and everyday items. It isn’t till he gets over to the nightstand that he really strikes it big. The watch splayed next to the alarm clock ought to fetch a pretty penny, and Eggsy swipes it without a second thought. 

 

A pair of glasses lie next to it but Eggsy pays them no mind. They aren’t going to get him anything. He opens the drawer of the nightstand and his eyebrows shoot up to his hairline. “Who woulda thought the geezer was packin’?” he whispers to himself, staring down at the gun nestled neatly in the drawer. 

 

It’s unlike any gun he’s seen before, but he doesn’t waste time inspecting it. Instead, he just shuts the drawer and does a quick sweep of the rest of the room. All he has to show for the night is the watch, but he’s keen to get out of the house, and it’ll get him a few hundred pounds, at least. Better than leaving empty-handed. 

 

Eggsy makes his way back into the hallway and the sitting room light clicks on behind him.  _ Shit _ . 

 

“Find anything interesting?” a voice asks. 

 

Shoulders hunched, Eggsy turns to face the consequences. 

 

The owner of the house is sitting in an over-stuffed armchair, gazing at him with sparkling eyes. “I asked you a question,” he says, gaze fixed firmly on Eggsy. 

 

Eggsy bites his bottom lip, ears flattening nervously. “Please don’t call the police,” he pleads. “Just let me go and I won’t ever come back here again, swear down.”

 

Harry snorts, arching one eyebrow. “No, I would suspect not. You’ve already got my watch, what would you need to come back here for?” he mutters, almost talking to himself. 

 

Eggsy’s brow furrows in confusion. “How’d you know-” 

 

But he doesn’t get the chance to finish that sentence. Harry stands, walking over to him and holding his hand out expectantly. “I’d like it back, if you’d be so kind,” he says. 

 

Eggsy stares up at him. Up close like this, he doesn’t seem nearly so old. He has a few wrinkles here and there, sure, but he looks right fit and his dusky brown hair barely has any gray. Something about him seems strangely familiar, but Eggsy’s too nervous to figure out where he might have seen him before, outside of casing him for the past few weeks. 

 

Harry clears his throat after a few seconds, waving his fingers expectantly. 

 

Reluctantly Eggsy digs the watch out of his pocket, gazing down at the face of it. This would have been his livelihood for a couple weeks, at least. He runs his thumb around the edge of it, and doesn’t notice Harry’s eyes sharpen. All of a sudden, the watch face turns with his thumb, clicking into place like a dial. 

 

The screen lights up with a word, and Eggsy jerks back in surprise. 

 

“Shit,” Harry hisses and suddenly he’s not there anymore. 

 

That turns out to be a good thing, as a small dart flies out of the side of the watch, shooting through the place Harry had just been standing and burying itself in the wall beyond. 

 

The watch falls to the floor with a soft thud. 

 

“Uh… hello?” Eggsy asks, blinking at the empty air where the older man had been standing. 

 

A cantankerous meow sounds at his feet and Eggsy glances down to the see a shape moving within Harry’s robe, now crumpled in a heap on the floor. As he watches, the same dusky brown cat from earlier wriggles out from the sea of fabric, ears and tail twitching irritably. 

 

The cat shakes himself from nose to tail tip and then it isn’t a cat anymore but a very naked Harry sprawled on the floor. 

Eggsy averts his eyes, but not before he gets enough of a glimpse to let him know he was right about the man being fit. His cheeks tinge pink. 

 

“I hope you realize that transformations take a considerable amount of energy,” Harry grumbles, slipping back into his robe and hauling himself off the floor. He ties it around his waist, looking no more embarrassed than if he’d simply removed a suit jacket. 

 

“You wanna tell me what the hell just happened?” Eggsy asks, turning around to look at him. He’s thoroughly confused and thoroughly convinced that he picked the worst house to rob. 

 

Harry bends down to pick up the watch, slipping it into the pocket of his robe. “You were messing with things you shouldn’t have been,” he says, sounding slightly amused. 

 

“Now. I’m sure you realize I’m perfectly within my rights to call the police on you,” Harry starts and Eggsy pales. “But I think I might also have a few things to explain if I did.” 

 

Both of them glance over at the dart buried in the wall and the tip of Eggsy’s tail twitches uncertainly. 

 

Harry jerks his head towards the door. “Go on, then. Before I change my mind.” 

 

Relief floods through Eggsy and he bounds over to the door before Harry has to tell him again. “Thanks, bruv. I won’t forget this.” He can’t help but run his eyes over the older man’s body, his mind unhelpfully imposing the glimpse he’d gotten over his robe. 

 

Harry notices the glance, raising one of his eyebrows. “Should I be flattered?” he asks flatly, voice giving away nothing. 

 

Eggsy bites his lip to keep from grinning, but it doesn’t really work. “Absolutely.” With that, he’s gone, shutting the door behind him and walking down the street with his tail held higher than it usually is.      


End file.
